My Second Birth | VBAC - The Birth of William
When I was blessed to fall pregnant again, this time with my son, I knew that I wanted the drug free vaginal birth, that I had always planned for and what I'd wanted with my first birth. I knew that this would mean that I would be having a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean), however I knew that by having a VBAC, it would be my healing birth and I was aware of the risks involved with a VBAC. I felt that my healing birth exceeded the small risks that were involved with a VBAC. I was of course offered another caesarean, but I very confidently declined.
When I went into labour with my son, my waters broke at home, in the middle of the night. This time I knew it wasn’t potentially a hind water leak, because they went with a gush! I wasn’t in any pain and so I decided to go back to bed and ring the hospital in the morning. This time, I was going to be in control. I had been advised to go straight to hospital when labour started, so that I could be hooked up to the monitor, for constant monitoring. I decided to stay out of hospital for as long as possible and I would get some rest at home, get up in the morning, send my daughter to nursery and have a shower. This definitely helped my labour to progress, allowing me to remain calm at home, feel safe, reduce any risk of interventions in hospital and allow oxytocin and endorphins to flow naturally. When I arrived at the maternity department, at St James’s University Hospital, in Leeds, it was around lunchtime. I was still not in any pain and I didn’t feel like I was experiencing any contractions. I was put in a room on the labour ward, not put on a monitor and told to try different positions and try to stay active, to get labour going. I remember going for a walk outside the hospital and going for a coffee in Costa. A few hours later, I was starting to feel a few niggles, a bit like strong period pains, but I was still feeling in control and calm. By this point, I still hadn’t been hooked up to the monitor (thankfully) and my partner and I had been left alone for most of the day. I kept thinking why am I here? I could be at home in my own comforts. Anyway, we decided to stay and save ourselves the hassle of going home and then returning a bit later. As the hours went by, the contractions started to get stronger and I was breathing my way through them. As the contractions came, I was taking a deep breath inwards and breathing a big breath outwards and pushing the discomfort away. As I did this, I was visualising a big mountain and as the contraction started, I was walking up the mountain until I reached the top, where the peak of the contraction was. As the contraction started to fade, I was walking back down the mountain. I started to use my TENS machine, which was a great distraction. Especially as we hadn’t tested it out beforehand, so we didn’t have a clue how it worked. My partner was on YouTube following the step-by-step instructions, whilst arguing with me and asking “why did you not test this out before now!?”
By early evening, I was still labouring alone, with just my partner present. A maternity support worker would occasionally come in and check my blood pressure every few hours. Each time she came in, I asked her what the plan was and she would keep replying that at midnight I was getting moved to delivery suite, to get started on the drip. This really infuriated me, because I didn’t want to go down that road again and I didn’t understand why I needed to go on the drip. I was told that because my waters had broken, I was at risk of infection and hospital policy is to put women onto a drip, if labour wasn’t established within 24 hours. I was determined that I was not going on that drip and I was determined to get labour established naturally, on my own. By around 10pm that evening, the contractions were coming often and lasting for way over a minute. I was finding it too hard to talk through them and I asked the student midwife when I would be able to have some gas and air. I was told that I would need to be at least 4cm dilated until I could have gas and air, but not to worry because I was going on the drip soon and I could get some then. I hadn’t received any vaginal examinations at this point, so nobody had any idea how dilated I was. Around an hour later, I felt an urge to bear down. It was a natural reflex feeling, like the reflex you experience when having a poo. I was surprised that I had this feeling, because I was led to believe that I was still only in early labour. However, it happened again and my body took over, making me want to push. I told my partner that he needed to go and get somebody and when the midwife came in, she was a little surprised that I had the urge to push. She asked if she could give me a vaginal examination, which I consulted to and to all our surprise and my delight, I was 10cm dilated! I was very quickly put into a wheelchair and rushed down the corridor. Once on delivery suite, I continued to push and very quickly my little boys head appeared and he started to cry. With his head out and his body still inside me, I could hear his little cries. On my next contraction, I gave one big push and he was out and placed straight onto my chest, for skin to skin. I was so relieved that he was here and I felt amazing. I was so happy that I managed to have the drug free, vaginal birth that I’d always wanted. Even after I'd got onto delivery suite, I still didn’t have any gas and air. Somehow by that point though, I didn’t need it. The intense discomfort from the contractions that I’d been experiencing earlier, had gone. I had a strong urge to push, but it wasn’t painful, it just felt like a strange sensation I hadn’t felt before. Later that day, we took our new baby boy home!
I am so glad that I had my VBAC birth. I now understand what labour feels like and I now know how amazing our bodies are and how they are designed to birth babies. From the amazing hormones that create natural pain relief (endorphins), to the amazing uterus muscles that help the cervix to dilate and the baby’s skull that is soft and flexible, with gaps between the plates of bones, allowing them to overlap and fit perfectly through our pelvis. Our bodies know exactly what to do during labour and work just fine without anything or anyone causing a kink in the wonderful process of birth. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes intervention is needed and it can be exactly what we need for a safe delivery and we are thankful for medical advances that allow for these interventions. However, most of the time our bodies are just fine on their own, to do their magic! Very often, it is fear that gets in the way of a calm, natural birth and when we fear birth, that causes pain and that can then lead to intervention, after intervention, after intervention.
Having had a vaginal birth and a caesarean section birth, I am grateful to have experienced both. They both come with their pros and cons and it is about making informed decisions and doing what is right for you and your baby. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t able to make an informed decision with my daughter, because I wasn’t aware of my options and I didn’t know enough about labour and birth back then, to make an informed decision. Knowing what I know now, after doing my doula and hypnobirthing training, there are things I would have done differently. I might still have needed or opted for a c-section, but there are other elements of the birth that I would have changed, to make it a more positive experience. Plus, there can be many positives to having a c-section and for some women, having that control over when baby arrives, can really make them feel less anxious and more positive towards their birth. If you are having a planned c-section, you can still have a say in how you might want that to look and make your own requests. (Natural C-section). However, if you are not aware of your options and choices, you are not able to make an informed decision.
If you would like to understand your birth rights, options and choices during pregnancy, labour and birth or would like me to advocate and support you during labour and birth, please contact me for a 30 minute free consultation. I’d love to hear from you!
Julia xx